Lesson 04 of the series “Relationship Matters”

A. When it comes to relationships, our words matter.

“…the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” James 3:5-10 (NLT)

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21 (MSG) Note: What comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is in our heart.

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 (NIV)

“A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. 36And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. 37The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” Matthew 12:33-37

1. We should never use foul or abusive language when speaking to one another.

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT

“… No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips.” Colossians 3:8 (GNT)

2. We should use our words to build people up not to tear them down.

“…If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.” Matthew 5:21 (NLT)

“Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal.” Proverbs 12:18 (TLB)

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Some possible reasons we tear others down rather than build them up: • They have something we don’t.
• We tear others down to feel better about ourselves.
• We want to be the center of attention.

• We’re bitter about something.

• We’ve stopped counting our blessings.

3. We should speak truth to each other in love.

“In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.” Proverbs 28:23 (NLT) “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6 (NLT) “To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet.” Proverbs 29:5 (NLT)

4. We should pray for one another not gossip about each other.

“I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone–for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NIV)

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you Luke 6:27 (NLT)

Prayer: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”

Tommy Green ● 01-19-20 ● tommy.green@gracefm.org